Best Robin Scherbatsky Quotes

Good morning everyone, how are you all? Doing good hopefully. We’ve had a pretty nice week so far, apart from the odd little annoyances that have happened, i.e. someone beeping their car horn and shouting at my mum and I whilst we were walking to an appointment (I was in my wheelchair) on our road rather than on the paths, as the paths on our street are full of cracks and very uneven and not wheelchair friendly. The other little annoyance that has been happening a lot over the past week especially to me is that I’ve been getting multiple spam calls throughout the day, to do with insurance that I don’t even have, the amount of numbers I’ve had call me and have had to block is getting out of hand, but other than having to deal with the constant harassment, the rest of the time has been really enjoyable, especially Sunday as we just had a really nice chilled day which was helped more with the Oreo Mcflurry from McDonalds that was definitely needed as it was very hot here in the U.K!

Enough of my rambling, let’s move on to today’s post, which is the second installment of the best character quotes from the longest story-telling show How I Met Your Mother and this weeks edition features the one and only…Robin Scherbatsky — She may be a hot-headed gun-owning broadcaster, cynic, Vancouver Canucks fan, and proud Canadian — but her most reliable trait is perhaps her ability to burst bubbles and bust myths. Robin is a realist and is the least gullible person on her squad, so she often says things out loud which others may not have the courage to say. She had the uncanny ability to say relatable things which the viewers were thinking. So let’s take a look at some of her best moments!

[Robin plays the video:]
Robin Sparkles: “I know, how about I sing you a song! [singing] Let’s go the mall everybody! Come on, Jessica. Come on, Tori.”
Robin: “I was a teenage pop star in Canada.”
Robin Sparkles: “Put on your jelly bracelets And your cool graffiti coat. At the mall, having fun Is what it’s all about.”
Lily: “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”
Marshall: “That’s you?”
Robin: “Yes. I had one minor hit. I had to go all over Canada and sing this song in malls. For a whole year I lived off of Orange Julius’s and Wetzel’s Pretzels.”
Robin Sparkles: “Everybody come and play. Throw every last care away. Let’s go to the mall, today.”
Marshall: “This is the 90s. Why does it look like 1986?”
Robin: “The 80s didn’t come to Canada till like ’93.” (2×9 – Slap Bet)

(1×6 – The Slutty Pumpkin)

Robin: “She can’t see that Barney is using her, and it breaks my heart. You know, I love Patrice. We’re like sisters.”
Ted: “You’ve never gotten through even one exchange without screaming at her.”
Robin: “Sisters fight, Ted! But the bond is always there.” (8×10 – The Over-Correction)

(9×4 – The Broken Code)

Ted: “Let’s get you to the hospital.”
Lily: “Oh, I can’t go yet. I talked to Dr. Sonya. They won’t admit me until my contractions are four minutes apart.”
Robin: “Okay, well, if you don’t make it in time, I have got you covered. When I was 13, my father caught me kissing a boy, so he sent me to our family’s ranch for foaling season. Once you see a baby horse erupt through that birth canal, you stop even touching yourself. Anyway, I had skinny arms, so I got up there elbow deep. I lost this watch birthing Blacky…”
Lily: “Okay, stop it. I am not a farm animal.” [grunts]
Robin: “Oh, there we go. Easy girl. Sugar cube?” (7×23 – The Magician’s Code -Part One)

(7×1 – The Best Man)

Lily: “Marshall, this is an intervention.”
Barney: “It’s about the hat.”
Marshall: [scoffs] “What? No. I have it under control, okay? I can take it off whenever I want to.”
Robin: “Dear Marshall, I do not like that stupid hat. I want to beat it with a bat. Or maybe stab it with a fork. It makes you look like such a dork.” (4×4 – Intervention)

(4×2 – The Best Burger In New York)

Marshall: “Hey, guys, sorry, uh… I left my charger back in New York, so my phone’s out of juice. Does anyone have…?”
Robin: Outlet or USB?”
Marshall: “Uh, outlet. Thank you. Oh…”
Lily: [to Robin] “Wow, you really do have everything in there, don’t you?”
Ted: “You’re like Mary Poppins, if her magic purse was also filled with drugs.”
Robin: “If”? Ted, the kids in that movie jumped into a painting and spent 15 minutes chasing a cartoon fox. “Spoonful of sugar…”? [scoffs] Grow up.” (6×14 – Last Words)

(8×10 – The Over-Correction)

Ted: [on the phone] “Oh, Robin. Hey, yeah, guess you never showed up did you?”
Robin: “No, I got stuck at work, but they finally got that kid out of the crane machine.”
Ted: “Did he get to keep the purple giraffe?”
Robin: “Yeah, they let him keep all the toys. He was in there a long time and little kids have smaller bladders.” (1×2 – Purple Giraffe)

(3×5 – How I Met Everyone Else)

Barney: “You suited up!”
Robin: “Well, I figured if I’m going to do this, I’m going to do this right.”
Barney: “Emilio? The woman will have…”
Robin: “I’ll have a Johnny Walker Blue, neat, and a Montecristo No. 2 Thanks.”
Barney: “Ah, the No. 2, a.k.a. “The Torpedo.” Or, as the rollers call it, “Piramide.”
Robin: “My father was a cigar fanatic, it was the only way to get his attention.” (1×14 – Zip, Zip, Zip)

(6×19 – Legendaddy)

Student: “Hey, uh, you ladies want something to take the edge off?”
Robin: “Yeah, what the hell? It’s prom. That tastes like cough syrup.”
Student: “Yeah, we couldn’t get any alcohol. Um, our fake IDs say we’re only 20. We didn’t realize it till after we bought them.”
Robin: “Nerds who aren’t good at math? Life’s going to be rough, boys.” (1×20 – Best Prom Ever)

(3×3 – Third Wheel)

Marshall: “I cannot believe that she gave him her number.”
Robin: “Maybe she really does have a brain injury.” (1×21 – Milk)

(8×1 – Farhampton)

Lily: “All of these gifts are so thoughtful.”
Robin: [communicating telepathically] “Lily? I need you to look at me right now and read my mind.”
[Lily looks at Robin]
Robin: “Oh, my God! You’re hearing me!”
Lily: [telepathically] “Yeah! Sorry this party’s so boring. What’s up?”
Robin: “Do not open my gift. See what I’m doing here? I’m looking over at the gift, then back at you, and I’m shaking my head, “no.” Gift. You. No. Are you getting that?”
Lily: “I totally got it.”
[Janice walks over to Lily, then to Robin and hands her a tampon]
Janice: “Here you go. Lily said it was your time of the month.”
Lily: [telepathically] “You’re welcome.” (2×19 – Bachelor Party)

(1×6 – The Slutty Pumpkin)

Ted: “Okay. No. See, look, that all sounds good, and we’ll still be friends and move on, but… Did he have to be so hot? The guy’s an Adonis.”
Robin: “He’s not an Adonis.”
Ted: “He’s the Cadillac of rebound guys. Marshall has a crush on him. The guy’s perfect.”
Robin: “He’s not perfect.”
Ted: “Oh, come on. He’s hot, he windsurfs, he massages things. Name one way I’m better than that guy.”
Robin: “You’re bigger.”
Ted: “Don’t patronize me. If anything, he may even be a little bit taller.”
Robin: “No, Ted, you’re bigger.” (3×1 – Wait For It…)

(2×4 – Ted Mosby, Architect)

Lily: “Wow. Andrea. You really are pregnant.”
Andrea: “Yeah.”
Robin: “How do you play the harp with your belly so…?”
Andrea: “Oh, I don’t really. I can only reach about half the strings.”
Robin: “You only play half the harp?”
Andrea: “Yeah.”
Robin: “Oh, no. Uh, okay. Lily, I will take care of this. Um, I’ll just pluck the other half. Is it hard to learn?”
Andrea: “I’ve been studying the harp for 12 years.”
Robin: “Yeah, but I’m a fast learner. You ever hear of “Guitar Hero”? Learned that in a day. Is there a “Harp Hero”?” (2×21 – Something Borrowed)

(4×19 – Murtaugh)

Robin: “Do guys really think this is me?”
Lily: “Honey, it’s you. And if you’re gonna break up with George, you have to break up with his kid too.”
Robin: “Really?”
Lily: “Yeah, you can’t just abandon him. You have to talk to him. Come on, Robin, you know it’s the right thing to do.”
Robin: “Man. Doug was right, you are a pain in the ass.” (3×4 – Little Boys)

(6×1 – Big Days)

Ted: “Uh, The Mosby Boys cracked a lot of big cases.”
Robin: “The Mosby boys? You mean you and your sister.”
Ted: “We solved the mystery of the missing retainer.”
Robin: “Let me guess, it was in the garbage.”
Ted: “Why are you like this?” (3×7 – Dowistrepla)

(6×12 – False Positive)

Robin: “I think I’ve got a little crush on our sports guy.”
All: “No, no, no, no.”
Robin: “I know, I know. But he used to play hockey, and I’m Canadian. I can’t help it. If he were missing some teeth, I probably would have already hit that.” (3×11 – The Platinum Rule)

(8×20 – The Time Travelers)

Robin: “How could she not notice this? It’s like the last 20 minutes of Titanic in here.”
Marshall: “We have to keep this quiet. If Lily finds out her new dream house is crooked, it’s gonna… it’s gonna break her heart.”
Lily: “Free salad strainer! I love this place.”
Marshall: “Just for tonight, okay?”
Robin: “Okay. But it’s gonna be an uphill battle. I am just saying we have to think of the right angle. I have a third one, but I’m not gonna say it.” (3×12 – No Tomorrow)

(4×14 – The Possimpible)

Future Ted: [v.o.] “There was just one thing in their way.”
Robin: [enters] “Scooch over. I TiVo’d The View.”
Future Ted: “And that thing happened to be unemployed and sleeping on their couch.”
Marshall: “So, Robin, how’s the job and apartment search going?”
Robin: “Oh, you didn’t hear? I’m the lead anchor on CNN. And I got a penthouse overlooking Central Park made of gold. Get your head out of your ass, Marshall.” (4×7 – Not A Father’s Day)

(7×19 – The Broath)

Robin: “What happened?”
Lily: “Oh, Ted didn’t get that job. But that’s not the biggest disappointment of the day.”
Robin: “What?”
Lily: “We saw you woo.”
Robin: “Saw who woo?”
Lily: “Saw you woo.”
Robin: “I didn’t woo.”
Lily: “You did, too.”
Robin: “That’s not true.”
Lily: “Your nose just grew.” (4×8 – Woooo!)

(4×17 – The Front Porch)

Robin: “No, I’m saying there are plenty of legitimate reasons to get in a fight. It might not be pretty, but in certain situations, you gotta do what you gotta do.”
Ted: “Right, I forgot. She thinks fighting’s sexy.”
Robin: “No, I do not! A lot… Look, I come from a culture of hockey players. If a guy can throw down, it’s somewhat way hot. And scars, hello! If a guy’s got a scar, he’s got a Robin. And if he’s missing teeth? I’m missing my pants.”
Barney: “I’m missing my wisdom teeth. Outpatient procedure. Local anesthesia. Whatever. It ain’t a thing.” [flexes] (4×10 – The Fight)

(6×3 – Unfinished)

Robin: “Okay, Ted, you know I love Zoey. But, look, sometimes, I go play chess in the park. And the key to chess… Okay, I play online. But the key to chess… Okay, it’s Angry Birds! But the key to Angry Birds is to always try to see every possible outcome. And to… hit some pigs with rocks or something. I don’t know; I don’t play. I can’t get it to download.” (6×23 – Landmarks)

(1×3 – Sweet Taste Of Liberty)

[in the Hoser Hut]
Robin: “How did you find this place?”
Marshall: “Feels like home, right?”
Robin: “There’s one way to find out.”
[Robin walks into a man]
Man: “Well, sorry there. Didn’t see ya. Are you okay?”
Robin: “I’m fine.”
Man: “Okay, sorry aboot that. Have a donut on the hoose.”
Marshall: “You bumped into him, and he apologized and gave you a donut on the hoose?”
Robin: “It’s just like home.” (4×11 – Little Minnesota)

(2×18 – Moving Day)

Robin: “Okay, not that I care about this challenge, but it’s cheating to wear overalls over a suit.”
Barney: “No, it’s not. They’re not called over T-shirts, Robin. They’re not called over shirtless fat guys who used to come fix my mom’s car and then hang out with her upstairs for a little while. No! They’re called overalls, okay? And I can wear them over whatever I want.”
Barney: [to a passing woman] “Hey.”
Robin: “Oh, he’s not saying hello. He’s just telling you what he feeds his horsies. Oh, man, I can sit here and make
you-look-like-a-farmer jokes all night. Challenge accepted.” (5×10 – The Window)

(1×18 – Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM)

Ted: “Okay, we’re just gonna have a nice low-key class today. Not a lot of talking. No loud noises.”
Robin: “Sup, guys.”
[All groan]
Ted: “No, no, no, no, no. Please, just go away.”
Robin: “I just wanted to drop by and say… [siren blares] Thanks for watching, Come on, Get Up, New York! Whoo!
[exits, returns] But, um!” (5×13 – Jenkins)

(4×20 – Mosbius Designs)

Lily: “All right, people, gather around. Let’s make a memory.”
Barney: “Hey, Robin, what’s in this dip that you made? Because it tastes like cilantro, and you know that cilantro makes me… “[sneezes]
[camera clicks, Barney is caught mid-sneeze on the picture]
Robin: “Yes!” (5×18 – Say Cheese)

(8×23 – Something Old)

Robin: “Oh, Ted, I’m glad we’re friends again.”
Ted: “Me, too.”
Robin: “Because as your friend, I have to tell you: You’re full of crap! You say you want a family, you say you want to meet “The One,” but you are always chasing the wrong women.”
Ted: “That is not true.”
Robin: “Look at the women you date, starting with me: I told you right away I didn’t want marriage or kids. Stella had a child with another man who she still loved. Zoey was married and trying to sabotage your career and wore a lot of stupid hats. I mean, if you really wanted a family, you would stop pursuing women you know there is no future with.
Ted: “Okay, first of all, hats were in that year, kind of. Secondly, I don’t always choose women there’s no future with. Kind of.”
Robin: “Name one exception.”
Ted: “Victoria. Victoria was great.”
Robin: “Exactly, and you threw it all away to chase after some hot piece of ass.” [scoffs]
Ted: “You mean you?”
Robin: “Thank you! Victoria is the only woman you’ve dated who could’ve been “The One.” You should call her.” (7×24 – The Magician’s Code – Part Two)

(5×6 – Bagpipes)

Thank you for visiting my blog and reading today’s post, hopefully the weather stays nice so you can go outside and enjoy the sunshine if that’s what you decide to do! For now though I shall leave you to go about your day and say see you next week.

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