Best Raj Koothrappali Quotes

Good Morning everyone, hope you’re all well. This week has not been a great one for me mentally as our upstairs neighbors have caused my anxieties and panic attacks to go through the roof as they have been very loud with shouting angrily at something/someone and banging on their floor/our ceiling so hard that one of these days I can see them putting a hole in it, because of everything their doing, they’ve actually been driving us out of the flat we’re currently staying in everyday just to get away from it all. One good thing that has come out of this week has been the arrival of a new baby in our family courtesy of my cousin Jo who gave birth to a healthy and beautiful little girl called Rose, and seeing pictures of the new little bundle of joy has definitely made this week better!

Moving on with today’s post and if you can believe it, its the last instalment of The Big Bang Theory; Best Character Quotes and we’re finishing this one with Raj… Many fans of The Big Bang Theory died from embarrassment for Raj at least once. For 12 years fans watched as Raj struggled to talk to women and have a successful long term relationship with any human of the opposite sex. And while all of his friends ended the series with their happily-ever-afters, Raj remained single with no future hope of love in sight. Raj might not have been the lady’s man of The Big Bang Theory crew, but he did have quite a few memorable and funny quotes, and here are 50 of them!

Raj: “Well, I’m a Hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I’m reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings.” (2×23 – The Monopolar Expedition)

(10x19 - The Collaboration Fluctuation)
(10×19 – The Collaboration Fluctuation)

Raj: “But excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days — the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I’ll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!” (5×19 – The Weekend Vortex)

(5×6 – The Rhinitis Revelation)

Raj: “Oh, my God, oh, my God, she just texted. She’s on her way up!”
Penny: “Raj, calm down. You got this.”
Raj: “Yes. Thank you, thank you. I got this.”
Penny: “Just remember, the most important thing is to have fun.
Raj: Stop putting so much pressure on me!” (12×8 – The Consummation Deviation)

(5×1 – The Skank Reflex Analysis)

Raj: “Okay, and here’s the hook. “Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones.” (9×4 – The 2003 Approximation)

(3×7 -The Guitarist Amplification)

Raj: “Well, we got into this because we both wanted to get married, and honestly, we’ve been dragging our feet, and I think this is the push that we need.”
Bernadette: “Wait, so you’re gonna ask her to marry you?”
Raj: “Why not? We like each other, plus, we both want to start a family. Hey, I can work from anywhere, I’m an astronomer. They have stars in London, and I’m not just talking about Dame Judi Dench.”
Howard: “No one thought you were.”
Bernadette: “I thought he was.” (12×22 – The Maternal Conclusion)

(10×3 – The Dependence Transcendence)

Sheldon: “Are we done talking about Howard’s failed conjugal relations? I have an actual Nobel Prize crisis to deal with.”
Raj: “Has anything changed since the last time you talked about it?”
Sheldon: “No.”
Howard: “Is there anything you can do about it?”
Sheldon: “No.”
Raj: “Then shut up or go wait in the car!” (12×14 – The Meteorite Manifestation)

(3×2 – The Jiminy Conjecture)

Howard: “Thank you, Raj, that was a really nice introduction.”
Raj: “Well, it’s from my heart. So, Howard, you are in an elite group. Only 232 people have ever been on the International Space Station. How does that make you feel?”
Howard: “Honestly, lucky. Most astronauts have to train their whole lives. I was just in the right place at the right time.”
Raj: “Oh, please, luck had nothing to do with it. You people need to know how impressive this man is. He was up there because he’s the only one qualified to install a piece of equipment that he designed.”
Howard: “Thanks, but if you want to talk impressive, this guy right here discovered a planetary object outside the Kuiper belt.”
Raj: “He worked on the Mars rover.”
Howard: “He helped launch the New Horizons space probe.”
Raj: “He went to space on a Russian rocket.”
Howard: “And I was scared the whole time.”
Raj: “And I was scared for you, but also proud.”
Howard: “Wow. I don’t think you’ve ever said that to me before.”
Raj: “I should have, and I’m gonna say it again. I’m proud of you. You’re my best friend, and I love you.”
Howard: “Aw, Raj, I love you, too.”
Bernadette: “What is happening?”
Raj: “Bring it in, spaceman, you’ve been cleared for landing.” (12×5 – The Planetarium Collision)

(6×15 – The Spoiler Alert Segmentation)

Raj: “Yeah, Mrs. Wolowitz was pretty special. When I first moved to America, Howard was my only friend, and she made me feel so welcome in her home. Which says a lot, because those first few years she thought I was the gardener.” (8×15 – The Comic Book Store Regeneration)

(4×7 – The Apology Insufficiency)

Raj: “Ever since I saw Pretty in Pink, I’ve wanted to go to an American prom. But then I saw Carrie and did not want to go to an American prom. Then I saw Never Been Kissed and I’m back on the prom bandwagon. This prom thing has been a real rollercoaster.” (8×8 – The Prom Equivalency)

(3×8 – The Adhesive Duck Deficiency)

Howard: “So in addition to being crazy, you’re resting the weight of the mission on your athletic prowess?”
Raj: “Yes.”
Howard: “The man who crashed his stationary bike?”
Raj: “I didn’t crash it, okay? My playlist was too up-tempo, I got light headed and I fell off.” (8×12 – The Space Probe Disintegration)

(5×4 – The Wiggly Finger Catalyst)

Raj: “You know there’s something I’ve always wondered about Aquaman.”
Leonard: “Yeah?”
Raj: “Where does he poop?”
Leonard: “What?”
Raj: “What do the toilets look like in Atlantis? How would you flush it? And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?” (4×1 – The Robotic Manipulation)

(4×3 – The Zazzy Substitution)

Raj: “Last night I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching side-by-side mansions, but there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means?” (4×12 – The Bus Pants Utilization)

(6×4 – The Re-Entry Minimization)

Raj: “Amy, you’re on rolls, cranberries, and making sure Bernadette stays away from the marshmallows.”
Raj: To Bernadette “That’s right, I see you.” (7×9 – The Thanksgiving Decoupling)

(3×9 – The Vengeance Formulation)

Raj: “It wasn’t a pajama party. It was just a couple of bros hanging out, giggling, eating cookie dough and watching Princess Bride.”
Howard: “Please stop talking.”
Raj: “As you wish.” (7×5 – The Workplace Proximity)

(10×7 – The Veracity Elasticity)

Penny: “Anybody need a refill?”
Raj: (Drunk) “Where did my life go, Penny?”
Everyone realizes Raj spoke to Penny.
Raj: “One day, I’m a carefree bachelor, the next, I’m driving a minivan to peewee cricket matches in suburban New Delhi.”
Penny: “Are you talking to me?”
Raj: “Is there another Penny here?” (1×8 – The Grasshopper Experiment)

(5×20 – The Transporter Malfunction)

Raj: “That was rough, you guys.”
Penny: “I know, but you did it. I’m so proud of you.”
Raj: “Well, anyway, I’ll leave you to your girls’ night.”
Amy: “Are you sure you don’t want to stay here with us?”
Raj: “No, I kind of feel like being alone right now.”
Bernadette: “Well, if you change your mind, we’ll be here.”
Raj: “Thank you.”
Penny: “Say hi to Emily for us.”
Raj: “Will do!” (9×18 – The Application Deterioration)

(4×13 – The Love Car Displacement)

Raj: “I’m unlovable.”
Penny: “It’s just the booze talking.”
Raj: “I haven’t had a drink since last night.”
Penny: “You’re talking to me!”
Raj: “I am! Now I’m crying for a whole different reason.”
Penny: “Me too.” (6×24 – The Bon Voyage Reaction)

(9×14 – The Meemaw Materialization)

Raj: “Hey, Leonard?”
Leonard: “Yeah?”
Raj: “I haven’t had sex in a year.”
Leonard: “Where are you going with this, Raj?”
Raj: “Don’t flatter yourself, dude.” (3×20 – The Spaghetti Catalyst)

(9×12 – The Sales Call Sublimation)

Bernadette: “Seriously? You brought Raj over to take your side?”
Raj: “Your dad’s on your side.”
Bernadette: “He’s not on my side. He’s doing all the work for free.”
Raj: “That is so generous of you. I’d like to switch sides.” (9×7 – The Spock Resonance)

(7×17 – The Friendship Turbulence)

Raj: “Mining for coins sounds so manly. Ooh, we should sing a mining song.”
Leonard: “Do you know a mining song?”
Raj: “I don’t know. Does “Tik Tok” by Kesha count? Because it has tunneled its way into my heart.” (11×9 – The Bitcoin Entanglement)

(10×14 – The Emotion Detection Automation)

Leonard: “How’d it go last night?”
Raj: “Y’know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars. Big whoop.” (4×9 – The Boyfriend Complexity)

(12×1 – The Conjugal Configuration)

Raj: “Hey, look, I found an iPod.”
Howard: “It’s smashed beyond repair. What are you gonna do with it?”
Raj: “What else? Sell it on eBay as slightly used.” (1×17 – The Tangerine Factor)

(12×21 – The Plagiarism Schism)

Raj: “Oh, my goodness. Aren’t you the cutest little Yorkie ever! You got him for me?”
Howard: “Her. We thought you two would hit it off.”
Raj: “I think we already have.” (5×20 – The Transporter Malfunction)

(7×8 – The Itchy Brain Simulation)

Raj: “Oh yeah. The guy who lives next to me is always like, I have a Jacuzzi on my balcony, I have a Jacuzzi on my balcony. But wait until I tell him, I’ve got a time machine on my balcony. Stuff that in your speedos, Jacuzzi Bob!” (1×14 – The Nerdvana Annihilation)

(6×18 – The Contractual Obligation Implementation)

Stuart: “So you’re back out on the dating scene now?”
Raj: “Yeah, yeah, a little.”
Stuart: “Oh, that must be fun. How’s that going?”
Raj: “I’m in a hot tub with you, so pretty bad.” (10×5 – The Hot Tub Contamination)

(7×10 – The Discovery Dissipation)

Thank you for visiting my blog and reading the final edition of The Big Bang Theory; Best Character Quotes featuring the loveable Raj! I hope you all have a lovely week and stay warm, for now, though I will leave you to enjoy the rest of your day and say… I shall see you next Wednesday.

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