Sheldon Cooper Quotes

Hello, you awesome lot! Is it just me or is anyone else feeling under the weather? The past few days have been a real struggle to get out of bed and do anything, not to be melodramatic but it genuinely feels like the energy (of what little I have) has been drained out of me, is anyone else in the same boat? Something good did happen this week though, we’ve got another little addition to the family, as my cousin gave birth to a beautiful and healthy little girl, we’ve been sent pictures of her and she is absolutely adorable, hopefully, we get to meet her at some point, when we’re not all too busy and my cousin has recuperated!

Moving on to today’s post…a few weeks ago I did a post on The Big Bang Theory Quotes, which you can click on the following link to view >< and I said that throughout the rest of this year I will be doing the best/funniest/heartfelt quotes from each of the main characters, and who best to start with than the main star himself…the quirky and highly intelligent SHELDON COOPER!

Sheldon: (3 knocks) “Penny!” (3 knocks) “Penny!” (3 knocks) “Penny!”
Bernadette: “What happens if I say come in?”
Penny: “Well, find out.”
Bernadette: “Come in!”
Sheldon: (silence)
(3 knocks) “Bernadette!” (3 knocks) “Bernadette!” (3 knocks) “Bernadette!”
Penny: “Come in!”
Sheldon: “Keep it up. I’ve got nowhere else to be.”
Bernadette: “Just come in.”
Sheldon: “For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls, I’ll just stream it on Netflix.”(9×11 – The Opening Night Excitation)

(2×1 – The Bad Fish Paradigm)

Sheldon: “I made tea.”
Leonard: “I don’t want tea.”
Sheldon: “I didn’t make tea for you. This is my tea.”
Leonard: “Then why are you telling me?”
Sheldon: “It’s a conversation starter.”
Leonard: “That’s a lousy conversation starter.”
Sheldon: “Oh, is it? We’re conversing. Checkmate.” (3×11 – The Maternal Congruence)

(10×16 – The Allowance Evaporation)

Amy’s Mom: “It’s nice to meet you too Sheldon, I honestly didn’t believe Amy when she told me she had a boyfriend.”
Sheldon: “I assure you, I am quite real and I’m having regular intercourse with your daughter.”
Amy’s Mom: “What?”
Sheldon: “Oh yes, We’re like wild animals in heat. It’s a wonder neither of us has been hurt!”
Amy’s Mom: “Amy? What is he saying?”
Amy: “You wanted me to have a boyfriend, mother, well here he is! Have to sign off now. My hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loins.”
Sheldon: “Oh yes. It’s time for me to make love to your daughter’s vagina.” (4×5 – The Desperation Emanation)

(2×11 -The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis)

Sheldon: “Thank you, Dr. Fowler. I have a very long and somewhat self-centered speech here. But I’d like to set it aside.”
Penny: “Yeah!”
Howard: “Way to go!”
Sheldon: “Because this honor doesn’t just belong to me. I wouldn’t be up here if it weren’t for some very important people in my life. Beginning with my mother, father, meemaw, brother, and sister. And my other family, who I’m so happy to have here with us. Is that Buffy the Vampire Slayer? I was under a misapprehension that my accomplishments were mine alone. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have been encouraged, sustained, inspired, and tolerated not only by my wife but by the greatest group of friends anyone ever had. I’d like to ask them to stand. Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali. Dr. Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz. Astronaut Howard Wolowitz. And my two dearest friends in the world, Penny Hofstadter and Dr. Leonard Hofstadter. I was there the moment Leonard and Penny met. He said to me that their babies would be smart and beautiful. And now that they’re expecting, I have no doubt that that will be the case.”
Penny: “Thanks, Sheldon. I-I haven’t told my parents yet, but thanks.”
Sheldon: “Oh. I’m sorry. Don’t tell anyone that last thing. That’s a secret.
Howard, Bernadette, Raj, Penny, Leonard, I apologize if I haven’t been the friend you deserve. But I want you to know in my way, I love you all. And I love you. Thank you.” (12×24 – The Stockholm Syndrome)

(4×11 – The Justice League Recombination)

Sheldon: “Amy, when I look in your eyes and you’re looking back in mine, everything feels not quite normal. Because I feel stronger and weaker at the same time. I feel excited and, at the same time, terrified. The truth is, I don’t know what I feel, except I know what kind of man I want to be.”
Amy: “Sheldon, that was beautiful.”
Sheldon: “I should hope so, that’s from the first Spider-Man movie.”
Amy: “I’ll take it.” (6×1 – The Date Night Variable)

(1×17 – The Tangerine Factor)

Sheldon: “I couldn’t sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom is our living room and just outside our living room is that hallway and immediately adjacent to that hallway is this!”
Leonard: “Do you realize if Penny wakes up there’s no reasonable explanation as to why we are here?”
Sheldon: “I just gave you a reasonable explanation.”
Leonard: “No, no. You gave me an explanation. Its reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers.”
Sheldon: “Don’t be silly. I have no peers.” (1×2 – The Big Bran Hypothesis)

(3×13 – The Bozeman Reaction)

Cop: “Your friend called 911 to report a robbery.”
Leonard: “Oh, my God, what did they get?”
Sheldon: “What didn’t they get? They got my enchanted weapons, my Vicious Gladiator armor, my Wand of Untamed Power, and all my gold.” (4×19 – The Zarnecki Incursion)

(11×24 – The Bow Tie Asymmetry)

Sheldon: “I can’t believe you almost had me bring a wild animal into my home.”
Amy: “No one told you to poke the turtle’s face.”
Sheldon: “I was playing “Got your nose”. That’s how you get children to like you.” (8×17 – The Colonization Application)

(8×8 – The Prom Equivalency)

Sheldon: “Oh, but don’t worry. I won’t do that to you.”
Amy: “Maybe you should.”
Sheldon: “What?”
Amy: “This has been your lifelong dream. And you may not get another chance. I don’t want to be the reason that you don’t win a Nobel.”
Sheldon: “You’re the only reason I deserve one.” (12×13 – The Confirmation Polarization)

(1×8 – The Grasshopper Experiment)

Sheldon: “Did you remember to ask for the chicken with broccoli to be diced, not shredded?.”
Penny: “Yes.”
Sheldon: “Even though the menu description specifies shredded?.”
Penny: “Yes.”
Sheldon: “Brown rice, not white?.”
Penny: “Yes.”
Sheldon: “You stop at the Korean grocery and get the good hot mustard?.”
Penny: “Yes.”
Sheldon: “Did you pick up the low sodium soy sauce from the market?.”
Penny: “Yes.”
Sheldon: “Good. See how it’s done, Leonard?.” (2×19 -The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition)

(3×18 – The Pants Alternative)

Sheldon: “Why are you crying?”
Penny: “Because I’m stupid.”
Sheldon: “That’s no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.” (3×10 – The Gorilla Experiment)

(6×7 – The Habitation Configuration)

Sheldon: “Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.” (2×8 – The Lizard-Spock Expansion)

(2×2 – The Codpiece Topology)

Sheldon: “May I say something?”
Leonard: “Not right now, Sheldon.”
Sheldon: “But I think it may be comforting.”
Leonard: “Buddy-“
Howard: “No, it’s okay. What?”
Sheldon: “When I lost my own father, I didn’t have any friends to help me through it. You do.” (8×15 – The Comic Book Store Regeneration)

(2×18 – The Work Song Nanocluster)

Raj: “Why did Howard leave you in the middle of the road anyway?.”
Sheldon: “We had a difference of opinion.”
Raj: “Over what?.”
Sheldon: “Whether or not he was trying to kill me. For the record, I maintain he was.” (2×5 – The Euclid Alternative)

(2×9 – The White Asparagus Triangulation)

Penny: “Hang on, I think the emergency key is around here somewhere.”
Sheldon: “We have a bowl. Our keys go in a bowl. You should get a bowl.”
Penny: “So, how did the beautiful mind of Sheldon Cooper forget his key in the first place.”
Sheldon: “I left them in the bowl.” (2×21 – The Vegas Renormalization)

(4×11 – The Justice League Recombination)

Penny: “All right, want some French toast?”
Sheldon: “It’s Oatmeal Day.”
Penny: “Tell you what, next French Toast Day, I will make you oatmeal.”
Sheldon: “Dear Lord, are you still going to be here on French Toast Day?.” (3×3 – The Gothowitz Deviation)

(1×8 – The Grasshopper Experiment)

Sheldon: “Well, if you want romance then let’s have romance. Oh look, there’s wine. Mmm, grape juice that burns! Now let’s gaze into each other’s eyes. You blinked, I win.”
Amy: “Sheldon!”
Sheldon: “Let’s see what’s next. Oh, kissing’s romantic.”
Sheldon kisses Amy
Amy: “That was nice.”
Sheldon: “Good.” (7×15 – The Locomotive Manipulation)

(10×24 – The Long Distance Dissonance)

Bernadette: “I guess we both had to put up with a lot of crap from people.”
Sheldon: “I suppose we have. Huh. Maybe you and I are more alike than we thought.”
Bernadette: “Maybe we are.”
Sheldon: “Although I’m exceptionally tall, and you’re exceptionally-“
Bernadette: “Sheldon.”
Sheldon: “You didn’t even let me finish.”
Bernadette: “Fine. Sorry.”
Sheldon: “Short.” (12×6 – The Imitation Perturbation)

(1×15 – The Pork Chop Indeterminacy)

Amy: “This is an easy one. You love this guy.”
Sheldon: “Me.”
Amy: “Come on. He’s an underappreciated genius.”
Sheldon: “Still think it’s me.”
Amy: “It’s not you. Now think, there’s a car named after him.”
Sheldon: “Of course there is. The Mini Cooper because it’s me.”
Amy: “How about this? He’s a poor man’s, Sheldon Cooper.”
Sheldon: “Oh, Tesla.” (8×9 – The Septum Deviation)

(2×7 – The Panty Pinata Polarization)

Leonard: “What were you doing at Penny’s?”
Sheldon: “Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you’ll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of ‘friends with benefits.” (2×21 – The Vegas Renormalization)

(3×8 – The Adhesive Duck Deficiency)

Sheldon: “Amy, there was a song I couldn’t get out of my head. Eventually, I realized the song was about you, and like that earworm, I can’t get you out of my heart. So, what I’m trying to say is, you’re my heartworm. The metaphorical kind, not the poodle-killing kind.” (9×10 – The Earworm Reverberation)

(7×20 – The Relationship Diremption)

Penny: “Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?.”
Sheldon: “Yes, it’s “Penny get your own Wi-Fi”; no spaces.” (4×24 – The Roommate Transmogrification)

(9×17 – The Celebration Experimentation)

Store Clerk: “Excuse me, Sir, you don’t work here.”
Sheldon: “Yes, well apparently neither does anyone else.” (1×16 – The Peanut Reaction)

(4×18 – The Prestidigitation Approximation)

Amy: “This isn’t easy to say, because I love you, but… I need some time to take a step back and reevaluate our situation.”
Amy: “I hope you understand.”
Sheldon: “Okay.”
Amy: “Bye, Sheldon.”
Sheldon: “Well, Gollum, you’re an expert on rings.” [Sheldon takes out an engagement ring from his desk drawer] “What do I do with this one?.” (8×24 – The Commitment Determination)

(1×1 – Pilot)

Howard: “We will, we will, percussive shock you.”
Raj: “We will, we will, percussive shock you.”
Sheldon: “Buddy, you’re a boy, make a big noise, playin’ in the street, gonna be a big man someday.
You got mud on your face, you big disgrace.
Kickin’ your can all over the place.
I have an eidetic memory. Sometimes it’s a curse.” (9×3 – The Bachelor Party Corrosion)

(Multiple Episodes)

There were so many quotes from Sheldon to choose from that it was hard to dwindle it down to just 50, I hope you liked the ones that I did pick. Thank you for visiting my blog and reading today’s post, I hope you all have a lovely week and I shall see you next time! 😊

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