Best Leonard Hofstadter Quotes

Good morning you wonderful lot, hope you’re all doing well and have had a good week so far. I, for one definitely have – more specifically this past Sunday as we went to visit Kim, Chris, and Isaac who has grown so much since we last saw him. It was lovely seeing them and having a chat to catch up as well as having plenty of laughter mainly from watching Isaac running around and just being his crazy usual self. Getting to see and speak to my Sister and Brother In-Law and hearing my little Nephew laugh and seeing him having fun has been the best thing thats happened in the past couple of months, its exactly what we’ve needed to cheer us up, and hopefully it wont be too long before we get to see them again as we’ve all said that we really miss one another and would like to see each other more often!

Speaking of laughter, lets move on with today’s post which is the fifth installment of The Big Bang Theory; Best Character quotes, this time featuring the sweet, thoughtful, kind, intelligent, mature, sardonic and socially awkward, but well-meaning, Leonard. The reason Leonard is the most socially adaptable member from his own group is that he is in touch with his own feelings and has actually worked towards communicating effectively. This made him a lot more approachable than his buddies Sheldon, Howard and Raj. During the course of the show, Leonard had quite a few emotional breakthroughs, especially involving his mother, Penny and Sheldon. He noticeably did not shy away from verbally expressing his emotions, and that contributed a lot in his successful relationships, because he could stay honest and blunt without hurting someone. Take a look at some of his best quotes!

Professor Proton: “Can I ask you a question?”
Leonard: “Yeah, sure.”
Professor Proton: “Why do you put up with Sheldon?”
Leonard: “Oh, you know because we’re friends.”
Professor Proton: “Why?”
Leonard: “Wow, you ask really hard questions. Look, I know he can be aggravating, but what you have to remember is he’s not doing it on purpose, it’s just how he is. But he’s also loyal and trustworthy and we have fun together.”
Professor Proton: “You know you’re describing a dog?”
Leonard: “He did bite me once. But in his defense, I came up behind him while he was eating.”
Professor Proton: “They hate that.”
Leonard: “Sheldon is the smartest person I have met. He’s a little broken and he needs me. And I guess I need him too.”
Professor Proton: “Why is that?”
Leonard: “Boy, you will not let this go, will you?” (7×7 – The Proton Displacement)

(11×10 – The Confidence Erosion)

Sheldon: “At my age, do you know how I’m statistically most likely to die?”
Leonard: “At the hands of your roommate?”
Sheldon: “An accident.”
Leonard: “That’s how I’m going to make it look.” (4×2 – The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification)

(6×4 – The Re-Entry Minimization)

Leonard: “Black beans, not pinto beans?”
Sheldon: “Yes.”
Leonard: “Double guacamole?”
Sheldon: “Of course.”
Leonard: “Lettuce shredded, not chopped?”
Sheldon: “Yes.”
Leonard: “No cilantro?”
Sheldon: “Nope.”
Leonard: “You understand why I’m doing this to you?”
Sheldon: “I do.”
Leonard: “That will be all.” (3×14 – The Einstein Approximation)

(1×13 – The Bat Jar Conjecture)

Leonard: “Oh, I know. This might help.” Gets a ring out of his wallet
Penny: “Where did you get a ring?”
Leonard: “I’ve had it for a couple of years. Not important. Penny, will you marry me?”
Penny: “Oh, my God, yes.”
Leonard: “This would have been so much more romantic if you didn’t have monkey hair on your finger.” (7×23 – The Gorilla Dissolution)

(5×18 – The Werewolf Transformation)

Leonard: “Hey. Listen, since we got, you know, interrupted last night, I didn’t have a chance to give you this.”
Penny: “Oh, Leonard, you shouldn’t have. Oh, boy! What is it?”
Leonard: “It’s a snowflake. From the North Pole.”
Penny: “Are you serious?”
Leonard: “Uh-huh. It’ll last forever. I preserved it in a one percent solution of polyvinyl acetal resin.”
Penny: “Oh, my God. That’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me that I didn’t understand.”
Leonard: “It’s actually a pretty simple process. You see, cyanoacrylate are monomers which polymerize on…” [Penny kisses him] (3×1 – The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation)

(10×7 – The Veracity Elasticity)

Leonard: “What was that?”
Penny: “Sheldon tried to steal the ring so I punched him.”
Leonard: “That’s my girl!” (3×17 – The Precious Fragmentation)

(5×13 – The Recombination Hypothesis)

Penny: “You’re a big cry baby. You start, I’ll join in.”
Leonard: “I am not a cry baby.”
Penny: “Toy Story 3.”
Leonard: “The toys were holding hands in a furnace!” (7×22 – The Proton Transmogrification)

(5×11 – The Speckerman Recurrence)

Leonard: “Come on, don’t look so sad. You never know what’s gonna happen. Maybe tonight will be great.”
Penny: “Sweetie, I know you’re trying to make me feel better, and I love you for that, but it’s making me feel worse, and I kind of hate you. This isn’t your car.”
Leonard: “I know. I thought we’d take yours.”
Penny: “I don’t understand.”
Leonard: “It’s nothing fancy, but it’ll get you to auditions, and at least for now, you don’t have to go back to waitressing.”
Penny: “I don’t know what to say.”
Leonard: “Don’t say anything.”
Penny: “Oh, my God.”
Leonard: “I mean, you could say thank you. I did just buy you a car.” (7×17 – The Friendship Turbulence)

(6×16 – The Tangible Affection Proof)

Leonard: “I’m gonna see where he is.”
Penny: “How?”
Leonard: “I know his password so I can track his phone.”
Penny: “You do that?”
Leonard: “Not always. But ever since he wandered off at the swap meet chasing a balloon, I get worried.” (7×24 – The Status Quo Combustion)

(9×1 – The Matrimonial Momentum)

Leonard: “What about the really long hug? What did that mean?”
Penny: “That wasn’t a long hug.”
Leonard: “It was at least five Mississippis. A standard hug is two Mississippis tops.”
Penny: “Leonard, I don’t know what to tell you. It was just a hug.”
Leonard: “Glad we cleared that up.”
Penny: “Yeah.”
Leonard: “I guess I’ll see you.”
Penny: “Okay, have a safe trip.”
Leonard: “Thank you. Bye.”
Penny: “Okay, bye. [closes door] It means I wish you weren’t going.” (2×23 – The Monopolar Expedition)

(2×11 – The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis)

Leonard: “Sheldon took our order.”
Penny: “Sheldon doesn’t work here.”
Leonard: “Well, honey, not to complain, but we were starting to think you didn’t either.” (3×14 – The Einstein Approximation)

(12x 10 – The VCR Illumination)

Leonard: “He always needs all the attention. He’s such a baby.”
Penny: “I know. I know.”
Leonard: “I swear he is never playing with my helicopter.” (8×18 – The Leftover Thermalization)

(11×24 – The Bow Tie Asymmetry)

Leonard (on screen): “It was L. Frank Baum who said no thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure, wow, I’m boring myself. Sorry, I can’t see any of your faces right now, but I bet they look like this. Uh, you know, I, I wrote an entire speech to say how high school prepares you and what a wonderful place it is, but I hated it. Maybe high school’s great if you look like this, but I didn’t even feel like I existed at that school. And now that I think about it, I bet a lot of you feel the same way. So, for the remainder of my speech, this is for the invisible kids. Uh, maybe you never fit in. Or maybe you’re the smallest kid in the school, or the heaviest or the weirdest. Maybe you’re graduating and you still haven’t had your first kiss. By the way, 19, and Geraldine Coco, wherever you are, thank you. Maybe you don’t have any friends. And guess what? That’s okay. While all the popular kids are off doing whatever, I don’t know what they were doing ’cause I was never there.”
Penny: “I’ll, I’ll tell you later.”
Leonard: “My point is, while you’re spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you’re really doing is becoming interesting. And when people finally do notice you, they’re gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you who were popular in high school, it’s over, sorry. Thank you and congratulations.” (8×22 – The Graduation Transmission)

(8×1 – The Locomotion Interruption)

Penny: “So what do you think?”
Leonard: “I thought it’d be a little more, just more.”
Penny: “I’m not even sure why we were out of breath. Uh, I mean, did we move at all?”
Leonard: “Maybe along the z-axis, but x and y are looking pretty sad.”
Penny: “Okay, come on. We are not old boring people. We can do better than this.”
Leonard: “Uh, Th, that’s true. How late did we stay up last night?”
Penny: “Almost 1am.”
Leonard: “Damn straight, almost 1am. And we weren’t even watching TV. We were watching Netflix, like the kids do.”
Penny: “Yeah, is it a comedy? Is it a drama? Nobody knows. Now, come on. We are gonna do this.”
Leonard: “Yeah. You get the paint, I’ll rest for 30 to 40 minutes, and then we do this.” (8×17 – The Colonization Application)

(1×1 – Pilot)

Leonard: “Well, how about we stop being so scared of losing each other, and just be together?”
Penny: “That sounds nice.”
Leonard: “Good. I’ve loved you from the moment we met and I will keep loving you until the end of time.”
Penny: “Oh my God, that is the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
Leonard: “Yeah? That’s because you’re beautiful, and your beauty fills my heart with love and song.”
Penny: “Getting kind of cheesy, Leonard.”
Leonard: “You think that’s cheesy? Buckle up.”
(Leonard gets down on one knee)
Leonard: “Penny Hofstadter, will you please stay married to me?”
Penny: “Oh dammit, you topped it.” (9×2 – The Separation Oscillation)

(2×7 – The Panty Pinata Polarization)

Leonard: “Face it, you can’t stump me. I am the king of husbands.
I know that you don’t like the lingerie that I got you on Valentine’s Day.
I know you hate the word “moist.”
I know-“
Penny: “Hang on. Wait, wait. Why don’t I like the lingerie you got me?”
Leonard: “Because it’s orange and you think it makes you look like a slutty carrot.”
Penny: “Interesting. I never told you that.”
Leonard: “Sure you did.”
Penny: “No. I never told anyone that. But I did write it in my journal.”
Leonard: (In a high-pitched voice) “What? I didn’t know you had a journal.”
Penny: “I also know your voice gets higher when you’re lying.
Leonard: (In a deep voice) “No, it doesn’t.” (9×9 – The Platonic Permutation)

(6×12 – The Egg Salad Equivalency)

Leonard: It’s kinda like the Loch Ness Monster. Maybe there’s something there, maybe there isn’t. We’ll never know but sometimes it’s fun to creep yourself out thinking about it.” (5×6 – The Rhinitis Revelation)

(12×3 – The Procreation Calculation)

Penny: “Where’s Sheldon?”
Leonard: “Oh, he was up late last night, so I gave him an early dinner and put him to bed.”
Bernadette: “That’s so sweet.”
Leonard: “Yeah, but now he’s gonna be up at dawn and want to play.” (5×8 – The Isolation Permutation)

(1×6 – The Middle-Earth Paradigm)

Leonard: “Hi-lo. Oops. I started to say hi and then I switched to hello in the middle. It came out hi-lo. Duh. Uh, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve read both your books and most of your papers. I’m Leonard, I live here. You’re brilliant.”
Sheldon: “I apologize. He’s only an experimental physicist.”
Elizabeth: “No need to apologize. Some of my best friends are experimental physicists. Well, not my best friends, but I know them. My best friend is a molecular chemist named Wendy. I’m sorry, I’m rambling. Hi-lo.” (3×21 – The Plimpton Stimulation)

(12×24 – The Stockholm Syndrome)

Penny sneezes
Leonard: “Gesundheit. Or as they say in Switzerland, gesundheit. You getting a cold?”
Penny: “No, no, it’s probably just allergies.”
Leonard: “Do you want an allergy pill? ’cause I have ’em all. Prescription, nonprescription, foreign, domestic, experimental.”
Penny: “Do any of them work?”
Leonard: “Not really. I’m just an enthusiast.” (3×15 – The Large Hadron Collision)

(12×23 – The Change Constant)

Penny: “Do boys have flowers?”
Leonard: “Who knows what he has down there.” (10×12 – The Holiday Summation)

(12×7 – The Grant Allocation Derivation)

Leonard: “What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?”
Sheldon: “Screwed?”
Leonard: “There you go.” (4×5 – The Desperation Emanation)

(8×3 – The First Pitch Insufficiency)

Leonard: “Hey, Penny. It’s Leonard.”
Penny: “Hey, Leonard. How’s the train ride?”
Leonard: “Delightful. Listen, I don’t know what you’re doing right now, but there are little bubbles forming on the corners of Sheldon’s mouth.” (2×17 – The Terminator Decoupling)

(11×1 – The Proposal Proposal)

Sheldon: “I like it. I think you’re on to something.”
Leonard: “Really? You’re not messing with me?”
Sheldon: “Not at all. In fact, I have got something for just such an occasion. I was starting to think I’d never get a chance to give it to you. Good job!”
Leonard: “You’re giving me a sticker?”
Sheldon: “Not just a sticker. That’s a sticker of a kitty saying “Mee-wow”.”
Leonard: “I’m not a preschooler.”
Sheldon: “Fine, I’ll take it back.”
Leonard: “I earned this. Back off.” (8×14 – The Troll Manifestation)

(11×16 – The Neonatal Nomenclature)

Leonard: “I don’t care what you guys think, Stephanie and I are very happy living together. I will give either of you 20 dollars, right now to trade pants with me!” (2×10 – The Vartabedian Conundrum)

(10×1 – The Conjugal Conjecture)

Thank you for visiting my blog and reading this week’s edition of The Big Bang Theory quotes featuring Leonard. I hope you all enjoy the rest of the week and I will see you next time!

4 thoughts on “Best Leonard Hofstadter Quotes

  1. I never watched that because I’m a Christian who believes I’m creation , lol, but it looks very clever . Also I was probably watching The Simpsons or Malcolm in the Middle with my kids when that show was on . 😁 I’ll have to watch some episodes . Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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