Best Rosa Diaz Quotes!

Hello my wonderful friends, hope your all doing well, and managed to enjoy the week. Other than my ribs making me really poorly, we actually had a lovely weekend – we went back to my hometown and saw my Auntie K and Auntie V for a few hours. We took them both out to a nearby pub to have a couple of drinks (well my Auntie V had a couple of small lagers whilst the rest of us had soft drinks), it was really nice spending time with both of them again and this time on a happy occasion! Even though the sun got quite hot at times, it was lovely being able to reminisce about old times. Something else that was really nice was being able to build a relationship that was took away from me with my Auntie V and reconnecting again with my Auntie K who I was really close to growing up. Because it was such a long day, I have been in absolute agony with my ribs/shoulder/neck which has made me very exhausted, so I’ve been having to rest a lot since we got back which brings me to this week’s post – 

Because I’ve been having to rest, I do like most people end up doing, which is binge-watching movies and tv shows and one of my go-tos is Brooklyn Nine-Nine which brings me to the fourth instalment of character quotes, and this time we’re focusing on the tough-as-nails Detective Rosa Diaz…Rosa isn’t one for chit chat on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. That’s why when she does speak, they’re words of wisdom that many can relate to. Rosa is nothing but honest with her friends and family, and she’s not afraid to show it. But while she plays the tough cop well, she’s also got a softer side that sometimes comes through. Rosa’s grew into one of the most beloved in the series. For the cold, unsmiling demeanor, she provides some of the biggest laughs of the whole series. Here are some of her best moments!

Rosa: “Hey, you should run. Going to meetings, writing stuff down. You love that nerd stuff.”
Amy: “Writing stuff down is nerdy? What do you do?”
Rosa: “I just forget stuff like a cool person.” (2×6 – Jake & Sophia)

Rosa: “I want to say a few words. When Jason died seven days ago, I didn’t give a rat’s ass.”
Charles: This is your speech?”
Rosa: “‘Cause I didn’t understand why people care so much about their dumb dogs till I got a dumb dog myself. I’ve only had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.”
Gina: “Very violent eulogy, I like it.” (3×12 – 9 Days)

Amy: “Can I join you? Mac’s never been asleep this long, and I don’t know what to do with myself.”
Rosa: “Charles locked your kid in the room.”
Amy: “What?”
Rosa: “You made me say it. If I didn’t, you would’ve stayed here and ruined this good thing I got going with Scully and his chips.” (8×2 – The Lake House)

Rosa: “Okay, I lied.”
Captain Holt: “Thank you.”
Rosa: “Not about the pie. About my Thanksgiving. I’m not spending it alone. I’m spending it with my family. We’re seeing the new “Minions” musical on Broadway. And I wasn’t putting oil in my bike. I was picking up these matching T-shirts for my whole family. I missed my family a lot when I was in prison and we’ve gotten really close again. I was embarrassed about how pumped I am to see them.
The T-shirts were my idea.” (5×7 – Two Turkeys)

Sergeant Jeffords: “So what do you think? Which gum looks the most like the one from the picture?”
Rosa: “Two pink, too wet, too small, too chewed, too smooth, too wet, all wrong, too pink, too fresh, too dirty, too clean. None of these work. You struck out.”
Sergeant Jeffords: “We don’t have any time. What do we do?”
Rosa: “I don’t know. Pick one and pray.”
Sergeant Jeffords: “Uh… I’m gonna go with… you.”
Rosa: [slaps Terry’s hand] “Not that one.” (7×8 – The Takeback)

Rosa: “I’ve only said I love you to three people. My mom, my dad and my dying grandpa. And one of those I regret.”
Charles: “Which one?”
Rosa: “Grandpa. He beat cancer so now I look like an idiot.” (2×17 – Boyle-Linetti Wedding)

Rosa: “Right, that’s the guy you said the lame stuff about. Like he’s a good listener.”
Amy: “Sorry, what do you look for in a guy?”
Rosa: I don’t know, real stuff. Like the shape of his ass.” (1×19 – Tactical Village)

Rosa: “Anyway, then I grabbed the gems, jumped off the roof, and wrote my name in flames.”
Captain Holt: “Wait, why did you keep delaying the heist? Couldn’t you have just won at Halloween?”
Rosa: “Oh, I did. These are the real Halloween gems. I switched them out before Cheddar found them. I also won on Valentine’s Day. I switched those gems out before I gave them to Scully. And then I won today. So while you nerds are always arguing about who the only two-time champion is…”
Jake, Amy & Holt: “Me.”
Rosa: “I just became the first three-time champion. I guess there’s just one thing left to do.”
[later:]
Jake: “To Rosa Diaz, an amazing human/genius.”
All: “To Rosa Diaz.” (7×11 – Valloweaster)

Rosa: “All right, Sarge. The car is yours.”
Sergeant Jeffords: “What? Why? I don’t deserve that car.”
Rosa: “I don’t know about that. I went back and watched the tapes to figure out how you did it. Right before the drawing, you got a peanut butter cup out of the freezer. The thing is, you don’t eat sugar past 4:00 p.m.”
Sergeant Jeffords: “Could have been a cheat day.”
Rosa: “Oh, it was definitely a cheat day. You froze your slip of paper, so that when you pulled the name, all you had to do was find the cold one.”
Sergeant Jeffords: “So, you thought the way I cheated was so cool, you gave me the car?”
Rosa: “Yeah, but also while I was watching those tapes, I noticed all the nice crap you do for people. You got Gina a cushion for her chair. You let Charles show you 130 pictures of Nikolaj brushing his teeth. You Heimlich’d Scully twice.”
Sergeant Jeffords: “On the same peanut. I also solved a murder.”
Rosa: “Yeah, we all solve murders, but you, you let Hitchcock borrow a pair of your socks, because his somehow disintegrated. Anyway, I’m sorry I guilted you in the first place. You deserve that car.”
Sergeant Jeffords: “Thanks, Diaz.” (5×15 – The Puzzle Master)

Captain Holt: “Diaz, I’ve been calling you. Why weren’t you answering your phone?”
Rosa: “Don’t have it. I charged it and stuck it on a truck headed west.”
Captain Holt: “What’s with the suitcase?”
Rosa: “Going to Malaysia.”
Captain Holt: “You’re going to Malaysia?”
Rosa: “No, the suitcase is going to Malaysia. I’m getting on a bus to Florida.”
Captain Holt: “What’s in Florida?”
Rosa: “Airport. I’m flying to Argentina.”
Captain Holt: “This is very complicated.”
Rosa: “Thank you. Adrian has a ranch in the Andes where he goes when he’s on the run. He’s already there, getting rid of the scorpions. Or adding more scorpions. I don’t know. The reception was real bad.” (4×22 – Crime & Punishment)

Rosa: “Hey, Figgis. My fiancé, Adrian Pimento, said when I caught you, I should read you this letter. “I want to lick the skin off your body, baby.” Oh, that side’s for me. “I want to rip the skin off your body, Jimmy.” (4×3 – Coral Palms Pt. 3)

Rosa: “We work in a police force full of dudes. We got to have each other’s backs, okay?”
Amy: “You’re saying you have my back?”
Rosa: “Yeah, I got your back. Don’t smile. I’m still mad at you.”
Amy: “I thought we were having a moment.”
Rosa: “Moment’s over. Shut up.” (1×9 – Sal’s Pizza)

Amy: “So we’re good? You’re not mad at me anymore?”
Rosa: “No. You’re about to be real mad at me.”
Amy: “For what?”
Rosa: “Cause I’m gonna reset your knee. Look at the bunny.”
Amy: “Huh? Argh!” (5×21 – White Whale)

Rosa: `”I can disable the security DVRs, but I need some way of getting to a station unnoticed.”
Captain Holt: “I have an idea on how to smuggle you in, but it’ll be a tight fit.”
Rosa: “I’m flexible. I do a lot of yoga.”
Jake: “You do yoga?”
Rosa: “Helps keep me centered. If you ask me about it again, I’ll hunt you down and rip your face off.”
Jake: “Okay. Great. Good plan. I won’t ask you about it again.” (3×2 – Bureau)

Amy: “Hey, Rosa. Saw you hadn’t signed up for the blood drive yet, so I brought you the sheet.”
Rosa: “Sorry, can’t. (reading the sign-up sheet) I’m under 17 years old.”
Amy: “Wait, you didn’t sign up last year, either. Or the year before. Are you afraid of needles?”
Rosa: “I don’t like being stabbed by someone so they can steal my blood. I’m crazy.” (3×16 – House Mouses)

Rosa: “How’s he doing?”
Amy: “He’s perfect. I see you changed.”
Rosa: “Oh yeah. That other outfit had a lot of afterbirth on it. Also during-birth and pre-birth. The point is I burned it.”
Amy: “Thanks for staying by my side. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”
Rosa: “It was worth it. I’m Auntie Ro-Ro.”
Charles: “She gets to be Ro-Ro? Incredible. I’ve thrown seven years away for this.” (7×13 – Lights Out)

Rosa: “I don’t have time for this. My girlfriend leaves in three minutes. You are ruining my life.”
Jenna Pazhley: “You’re ruining my life. I missed my Drybar appointment without calling to cancel first. They keep record of those things.”
Jake: “Oh, my God, neither of your lives are being ruined. I told you I’m not on board with your psycho plan to destroy your girlfriend.”
Rosa: “I’m not gonna destroy her. I actually want her back. I really love her, Jake.”
Jake: “What? Rosa, then why’d you say all that stuff about winning the breakup?”
Rosa: “Because it’s weak and humiliating to love someone. I lied to make myself feel strong and normal.”
Jake: “Right, that’s definitely what came across, how normal you were being.” (6×14 – Ticking Clocks)

Charles: “You were never my real star, Sarge. But I needed to create a scene so that Alfonso would think that my mission had failed. Then I could send in-“
Rosa: “Ricki Sheetz, DJ by night, gun smuggler by later night. Alfonso started telling me about all the crazy crap you guys pulled in there. He just couldn’t stop talking till he gave me the name of his supplier.” (6×9 – The Golden Child)

Rosa: “So, were you able to cancel my cable?”
Captain Holt: “Of course. It was easy.”
Rosa: “Good, because I have something else. I need you to take my dog to Argentina to be with Adrian on his ranch. Now, I know what you’re gonna ask me, and the answer is no, I don’t have a map of the booby traps, but I can tell you how he thinks.”
Captain Holt: “Enough! I’m sorry. I hate to say this, but you’re asking too much of us.”
Rosa: “Is that how you feel too, Sarge?”
Terry: “Yeah, Rosa, damn.”
Rosa: “Good, finally.”
Terry: “What?”
Rosa: “Look, prison is awful. I hate it here. I’m lonely, I’m scared. I just wanna be back home, and I was happy you guys were coming to visit, but then you started calling me by my first name, and you kept making that crazy crying face. The only one that is acting like himself is Hitchcock.”
Guard: “You! Shirt back on!”
Jenny: “Stop being such a prude.”
Rosa: “If I’m gonna get through this, I need to feel like my old life isn’t gone. I need normal interactions. So, I need you guys to fight with me, and be honest with me, and tell me no when I’m being unreasonable.”
Terry: “Okay, I promise: no more crying face.”
Captain Holt: [sighs] “And no more pity…Diaz.”
Rosa: “Thank you. I can’t believe it took that long. I really thought the cable company was gonna break you.
Captain Holt: “It did. But the good news is, you now have Epix, plus some channel called “Tunez,” with a Z. Two-year commitment.” (5×1 – The Big House Pt.1)

Gina: “Rosa, repeat after me and don’t change a thing. Can I tell you the craziest story? One time I was like so drunk-“
Rosa: [parroting Gina] And this meathead comes up to me. And his body is hot, but his face is like okay. So I’m like, what?”
Gina: “And I was like, bitch, I’m not gonna sleep with you just because you promised to take me to the Bahamas.”
Rosa: [parroting Gina] “Take me to the Bahamas first and then we’ll see what happens, okay?”
Gina: “I was only with him because he drove a Jaguar.”
Rosa: [parroting Gina] “Turns out it was a Mercury with a Thundercat taped to the hood.”
Gina: “And that relationship lasted for three months.”
Rosa: [parroting Gina] “I don’t know why we broke up. I guess we just grew apart when he went to prison for life.”(5×12 – Safe House)

Rosa: “Oh, I am hungover. How you feeling?”
Captain Holt: “Not good at all. You were supposed to watch out for me, Diaz.”
Rosa: “Good news is, the heavy drinking worked. You didn’t mention Kevin one time.”
Captain Holt: “Oh, that is an accomplishment. Unfortunately, it appears that I did think about him at least once last night.”
Rosa: “What do you mean?”
Captain Holt: “At 3:30 a.m., I seem to have sent Kevin… A digital phallus portrait.”
Rosa: “A digital phallus portrait? What is that? [gasps] Oh, no, you sent him a [bleep] pic. (8×4 – Balancing)

Amy: “Okay, I got you a coffee.”
Rosa: “Oh, thank you. Just need to put my left hand on the stroller. My right hand grabs the cup. My mouth do the sippin’.”
Amy: “What’s happening?”
Rosa: “My broken brain won’t talk to my body, so I’m doing it. Blink.”
Amy: “Rosa, you don’t have to do this. You can stop.”
Rosa: “Snarl at Amy. [snarls] (7×12 – Ransom)

Amy: “What the hell are you doing? Why are you trying to get Holt and Kevin to break up?”
Rosa: “I’m trying to get Holt and Kevin back together. He and Kevin are perfect for each other. He just needs to realize that. Once he sees what other trash is out there, he’s gonna go running straight back into Kevin’s arms, just like in a Nancy Meyers movie.”
Amy: “So you still love Nancy Meyers?”
Rosa: I will never turn my back on Nancy Meyers.”
Amy: “Okay. I’m in. Let operation “Lucky Number Kevin” begin.”
Rosa: “I’m out.”
Amy: “No, no, no. We don’t have to call it that.” (8×7 – Game Of Boyles)

Amy: “Hey, can I talk to you for a sec? I just want you to know that I don’t care if you end up with anyone or get married or whatever. I just want you to be happy.”
Rosa: “I am happy. I’m making a difference, I’ve got great friends. Also, I’m moving in with my girlfriend, Debra. She is amazing. She makes me feel whole.”
Amy: “Oh, really?”
Rosa: “Oh, my God, this is too easy. No, I don’t want to settle down.”
Amy: “Right. I’m sorry, sorry.”
Rosa: “It’s fine. I’m just messing with you. It’s crazy you’re leaving. We spent a lot of time here.”
Amy: “Yeah, we did. I’m really happy it was with you.”
Rosa: “Same here. I love you.”
Amy: “I love you too. [glasses clink] (8×10 – The Last Day (Part 2))

Rosa: “Look this is a hard fight. But it’s an important one. It’s good that you convinced her to press charges.”
Amy: “But she lost the money, and she had to quit the job she loves. That’s exactly what you said would happen.”
Rosa: “But you got the guy who assaulted her. And look over there.”
Amy: “Keri’s coworker?”
Rosa: “She came forward to report an assault because she was inspired by Keri, which is exactly what you said would happen. Two steps forward, one step back is still one step forward. You wanna take her statement together?”
Amy: “You know it, sister.”
Rosa: “Yeah, don’t do that.”
Amy: “We can be different and still have the same cause.” (6×8 – He Said, She Said)

Thank you for visiting my blog and taking the time to read today’s post, I hope you all have a good week and manage to enjoy some of the sunshine, for now though I shall say see you next Wednesday!