Best Amy Santiago Quotes!

Morning all, is everyone doing ok? We’ve had a bit of a busy week – I had my ultrasound last Thursday which the ultra-sonographer said didn’t seem to show anything wrong with the strange lumps I’ve somehow contracted, but I unfortunately can’t take her word for it as 1. By law they are not suppose to reveal information as they can only interpret their findings (they are not Doctors), and 2. She only scanned the back part of my shoulder, not the whole thing, or my neck which is where the lumps are located as in her own words “that is not her area of expertise” and that I would need to get another scan done for that area, so it looks like I’m having to go back to my Doctors (all of whom I have another major issue with) to try and get alternative help as it’s affecting my daily life, if I could get help elsewhere – I would. On another note, I was given anti-biotics for the infection in my toe, but they were sadly making me so poorly to the point I couldn’t keep anything down, so I listened to my body and stopped taking them, thankfully I’ve now been prescribed a different course of anti-biotics (finger crossed they work). Anyway, I’ve done enough rambling, shall we get on with this weeks post-

As I’ve been feeling quite down this week, something I’ve been doing is watching comedy films and tv shows to cheer me up, which actually brings me nicely to todays post and the second instalment of Brooklyn Nine-Nine-character quotes and this time we’re continuing with the nerdy and binder-loving Amy Santiago… Amy will go down in history as one of the most iconic characters written and performed. There’s no one more real than Amy. She’s willing to do her happy dance and lets everyone know how much she loves completing nerdy tests and crosswords. She doesn’t aim to please anyone (except for maybe Captain Holt). However, even then she holds true to her values and morals. Amy is beyond unique. Her quirks are certainly out there, but she’s never embarrassed to fully live her own life. Take a look at some of her best quotes!

Jake: “You might wanna stand back for this, sir. It can get pretty intense.”
Amy: [YELLING] “All right, you mooks, our union health plan has 100% reimbursement for out-of-state ambulance rides. Scully will fake a medical emergency.”
Scully: “Don’t need to fake it. Always having at least one.”
Amy: “Great. You call an ambulance and have it take us here to Monroe, Louisiana. The ambulance can drive 25 miles over the posted speed limit, so we’ll get there by 9:00 p.m. There’s a small airport there, mostly servicing crop dusters. Of course, they can’t take passengers, but thanks to a loophole in H.R. 377551, police officers are allowed to commandeer any plane in the interest of national security. The crop duster will land at an airstrip outside of Finksburg, Maryland. We’ll take a cab to Baltimore, jump on the 6:48 a.m. train to New York, arriving at 9:26. Kevin will meet us at Penn Station with a fresh Captain’s uniform. From there, it’s a 29-minute cab ride to One Police Plaza. You change on the way, and we should get to your meeting with five minutes to spare. Stop clapping, you idiots! We gotta move, move, move!”
Jake: “I love her.” (5×9 – 99)

Amy: “Okay, well. I’ve been planning this wedding for the last six months. And if you told me yesterday everything that was gonna go wrong, I would have had a panic attack that sent me into the ER. But I’m here, and I’ve never been happier. Life is unpredictable. Not everything’s in our control. But as long as you’re with the right people, you can handle anything. And you, Jake Peralta, are the right person for me. But I do have some bad news. There is a bomb at this wedding as well.”
Jake: “What?”
Amy: “Your butt. Your butt is the bomb. There will be no survivors.” (5×22 – Jake & Amy)

Captain Holt: “Here, this is for you. It’s a grade for your performance these past few days. A letter grade, so as to not be “weird” about it.”
Amy: “Oh, my God. You really shouldn’t have. An “A”. Thank you. Just curious, does your system have pluses in it, or is, like, “A” the highest?” (2×2 – Chocolate Milk)

Sergeant Jeffords: “Sorry, we’re so happy for you, but we also maybe, kind of already knew. I mean, you didn’t do the best job of hiding it.”
[flashback:]
Sergeant Jeffords: “Why have you been carrying that box around so much?”
Amy: “I just love this box.”
[flashback:]
Captain Holt: “Why are you reading that newspaper? It’s two days old.”
Amy: “I just love this issue.”
[flashback:]
Rosa: “Hey, why are you wearing that Hazmat suit?”
Amy: “I just love this look.” (7×10 – Admiral Peralta)

Rosa: “Anyway, it’s not about the math. They haven’t seen each other because of the night shift. They just need to bone.”
Amy: “What? Gross! Rosa, those are our dads! I mean … [chuckles] … That’s not what I think. Captain Dad is just my boss.”
Rosa: “Wow.”
Amy: “Never mind, I’m teaching father the math! Whatever, Rosa.” (4×8 – Skyfire Cycle)

Amy: “Sir, are you all right?”
Captain Holt: “I failed you, Santiago. I want my officers to respect the chain of command, but I never want anyone to be so terrified of me that they repress basic emotions. I’m a terrible captain.”
Amy: “Stop that. You are not a terrible captain.”
Captain Holt: “Santiago, face facts. I’m garbage.”
Amy: “No, this is about me and my issues with authority. You’ve been great.”
Captain Holt: “Wrong, I’ve been a disaster.”
Amy: “I can’t believe you would blame yourself for this. How stupid are you?”
Captain Holt: “So stupid. I’m such a stupid head.”
Amy: “The fact that you think this has anything to do with you is insane. Do you even-[gasps] Oh, my God, I’m yelling at you.”
Captain Holt: “Yes, you are. You’re in the zone. Keep going.”
Amy: “Oh, okay. I can’t believe you lost my pen. That was careless and rude!”
Captain Holt: “And?”
Amy: “And it was a real jerk move!”
Captain Holt: “Santiago! You did it!”
Amy: “And I am so sick of you playing your damn classical music in your office all day. It’s too loud! We can all hear it!”
Captain Holt: “Okay, well, this has been-“
Amy: “You shut your mouth when I’m talking to you.”
Captain Holt: “Santiago.”
Amy: “Right, too far. I’m sorry. This is all very new for me.” (4×20 – The Slaughterhouse)

Amy: “Okay, I’ve got something.”
Jake: “Oh. That’s not Brandon’s profile. It’s mine.”
Amy: “I just want a quick peek at your attendance record. Zero absences. Oh, mama Printing this for later.”
Jake: “Keep it in your pants, Santiago.”
Amy: “Oh, that’s exactly where it’s going.” (6×3 – The Tattler)

Karen Peralta: “I think she’s really great.”
Amy: “I think you’re really great too!”
Jake: “She’s very good at lip reading.”
Amy: “I wouldn’t say I’m very good. I mean, deaf people, they’re the real talents.”
Jake: “Just can’t stop.”
Amy: “I’ll let you guys talk! I’ll just close my eyes.” (3×14 – Karen Peralta)

Amy: “A 300 call number in the fine arts section? What is this, Beirut?”
Debbie: “You know, you don’t work here. You don’t have to reshelve the books.”
Amy: “Well, someone has to. I’m so sorry. I’m just really stressed out. You’re a great librarian, and I’m sure you’re not the one who shelved this section.”
Debbie: “I am.”
Amy: “God, Debbie, what is going on with you?” (5×2 – The Big House Pt. 2)

Amy: “But then I relaxed, and I found my inner strength. I think the lesson here is that, as women, we- (Rosa tries to close the trunk) No, no, no, no! You close that trunk again and I will kill you! You hear me? I will kill you!” (3×16 – House Mouses)

Amy: “I could drive.”
Captain Holt: “No, you don’t know where we’re going. But if you’d like a cup of coffee, there’s an old bakery in that neighborhood. The coffee there is terrible, but I would enjoy the nostalgia.”
Amy: “I love terrible coffee. Now let’s put away Richard Wilcox, that no good punk.”
Captain Holt: “He’s 86-years-old.”
Amy: “You don’t out grow punk, sir.” (2×13 – Payback)

Amy: “We don’t know no secret. You be crazy. I always talk like this. Down in Kokomo.” (4×21 – The Bank Job)

Amy: “I get that there’s always been tension between uniformed officers and detectives, but Rosa is one of the good guys. I’m sure she knows your name.”
Della: “You clearly just texted her the answer.”
Rosa: “No, she didn’t, Della Avocado.”
Della: “It’s Alvarado.”
Amy: “Stupid auto-correct.” (5×20 – Show Me Going)

Amy: “All right. Listen up, people. The next 14 hours are gonna be hell, but in the end you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you’ve finally done something worthwhile with your lives.”
Sergeant Jeffords: “I kinda think the police work we do-“
Amy: “Eh-eh-eh! I don’t have time to stroke your damn ego, Sergeant. Let’s make a wedding!” (4×6 – Monster In The Closet)

Amy: “We should have all ambulances on call. I want an open line of communication with DOT, and I want someone from the DA down here so we don’t get cases thrown out. I need a pair of sweatpants, and check again on that status update from ESU. All right, go go go!”
Rosa: “What do you need the sweatpants for?”
Amy: “My water just broke, which reminds me, we should be prepared to distribute emergency water and food.”
Rosa: “Your water just broke?!” (7×13 – Lights Out)

Sergeant Jeffords: “No, I sent the recommendation letter to the wrong place. I thought you were applying to be a mentor, not a mentee.”
Amy: “You thought I wanted to be a SAM, not a SAM? Are you insane?”
Sergeant Jeffords: “Well, you should be a SAM.”
Amy: “No, I should be a SAM.”
Sergeant Jeffords: “We got to start saying something other than SAM because we are barreling toward a misunderstanding.” (3×11 – Hostage Situation)

Jake: “Seven cups of salt? Even I know this isn’t a recipe. Which means it might be a code.”
Amy: “Ooh, interesting. Ten digits, maybe it’s a phone number. Look, 718, Brooklyn area code.”
Jake: “Yes, that’s definitely it. Wait, did you actually use all of this salt and 18 cups of oregano?”
Amy: “Back off, I solved the case.”
Captain Holt: “Nine onions? Oh, Amy.”
Amy: “How am I the bad guy here?” (3×12 – 9 Days)

Captain Holt: [answers phone] “This is Captain Holt.”
Amy: “Oh, hello, Captain. It’s Amy Santiag-ago.”
Captain Holt: “Sergeant, are you drunk?”
Amy: “Oh, he thinks I’m drunk. What do I do?”
Rosa: “Uh, British accent.”
Amy: “Smart. That’ll fool him. [Cockney accent] Yes, sir, quite drunk. Wankered, really.”
Captain Holt: “What did you learn? Did O’Sullivan set up Peralta?”
Amy: “No, he didn’t. Me ‘usband wasn’t set up at all. ‘e wasn’t, but me big problem now is that me ‘usband can’t be reached by me telly.”
Captain Holt: “Please stop talking like that.”
Amy: “Okay.” (8×6 – The Set Up)

Gary Jennings: “Isn’t this supposed to be an apology?”
Amy: “Yes. You’re right. I’m sorry. I mean, I shot my husband with a real bullet two years ago, and it comes up way less than this.”
Rosa: “Way less than this.” (6×13 – The Bimbo)

Amy: “Well, I called the doctor to see if that was a common side effect and apparently, it isn’t.”
Jake: “Oh, no. Is everything okay?”
Amy: “Yeah. She did have one guess as to what might be causing it. And, um, she was right.” [holds up pregnancy test]
Jake: [exhales] “Ames. Are we having a baby?”
Amy: “We’re having a baby.”
[elsewhere, Boyle bolts up in bed:]
Charles: “It happened!” (7×7 – Ding Dong)

Rosa: “Now scram. I have a case report to type up.”
Amy: “Uh, there’s no way you’re using a keyboard with your hands like that. Oh, I could help you! Not to brag, but at typing camp, everyone called me “The Finger Queen.” Oh, my God, that sounds really dirty. I swear that’s what it meant.”
Rosa: “Yeah, it was typing camp. Nobody thinks that.” (6×15 – Return Of The King)

Charles: “Hey, Amy, I wanted to give you this. I made Mac a truffle squash puree. I’m not trying to show you how to do anything, I’m just trying to apologize.”
Amy: “It’s okay, Charles. I actually learned something from you yesterday. Mac has trouble sleeping because I bother him too much. When he was locked in that room no one could check on him, and it was the longest nap he’s ever taken. So thank you for the mousse.”
Charles: “I can’t believe you actually took it.”
Amy: “Of course I took it. You locked my baby in a room, Charles. You’re gonna be cooking for him until he goes to college, okay?”
Charles: “Okay.”
Amy: “Great, thanks.” (8×2 – The Lake House)

Amy: “So I believe the key to good teamwork is an equal exchange of ideas-“
Rosa: “Stop. I know you already have a plan. And I want to win, so for the next eight hours, I’m down with all your nerdy crap. Come on, Amy. Show me the binder.”
Amy: “Okay, but it’s not a binder. It’s a virtual binder, and it’s encrypted on this flash drive.”
Rosa: “That’s my girl. Now, where’s the 3-D model of the precinct?”
Amy: “Inside the key chain. It’s a frickin’ hologram.” (4×5 – Halloween IV)

Captain Holt: “Santiago, the precinct’s been saved. Why are you so glum?”
Amy: “Because our mentorship is over. I blew it all in one day.”
Captain Holt: “Yes, volume one of our mentorship.”
Amy: “There’s more volumes?”
Captain Holt: “Of course. You think I could fit it all in one binder?”
Amy: “Okay, good.”
Captain Holt: “You don’t seem very excited.”
Amy: “Oh, I was just adhering to section 7, page 145. No emotional displays in the work place.”
Captain Holt: “Excellent. I taught you well.”
Amy: “Now, if you excuse me, uh I have some work to do. On the roof. [door opens] Yeaaaaaaaaaaah!” (4×15 – The Last Ride)

Jake: “The point is, I came to comfort you.”
Amy: “Aw, thanks, but I actually feel really great. I’ve spent my whole life trying to beat David at something, but when you were in danger, I just didn’t care anymore. All I wanted was for you to be okay. I may never have the mantel, but it doesn’t matter, ’cause I have you.” (6×9 – The Golden Child)

Thank you for visiting my blog and taking the time to read today’s post, I hope you all have a good week and manage to enjoy some of the sunshine, for now though I shall say see you next Wednesday!