Morning lovelies, hope everyone’s doing okay and had a good week! As I mentioned in last Wednesday’s post, my family and I were going out as a birthday treat to the National Space Centre, well we did just that on Sunday, we had a really fun time visiting the Centre itself and getting to learn all about the different processes, and what goes into training to becoming an astronaut, and going into space itself. My dad especially enjoyed it, as he’d never been before, I went when I was younger, on a school trip, with my mum acting as a volunteer chaperone, but I have to say, I couldn’t actually remember that trip very well to compare to this time, which meant it was like seeing it for the first time again. So far this week has been busy , on Monday my mum and I went out again to Leeds (which if you haven’t guessed by now, we live some-what close to) and did a bit of shopping. Yesterday we had to go out early for a Doctors appointment, and on Friday we’re out again all day, as we have to return some books to a library that isn’t close to us, so we’ll have to wait for my dad to finish work to come and pick us up and take us home, which hopefully doesn’t take too long. Anyway enough of my rambling, on with this weeks post…
Well, its the penultimate edition of the How I Met Your Mother: Best Character Quotes, and this time its the turn of Lily Aldrin, A.K.A “Lilypad,” “Slap-Bet Commissioner,” “Chewbacca” and Ms. Aldrin to name a few were all nicknames Lily enjoyed, adopted and endured over the course of HIMYM’s nine season run. Dubbed as a diabolical puppet master by Barney and a psychopath by Ted, Lily Aldrin could be a very capable manipulator when she wanted to. Luckily, her heart was always in the right place. Lily was a pretty amazing friend throughout the show. She was supportive, caring, and always had some words of wisdom to help her friends get through a rough time. Over the course of nine seasons, Lily gave tons of life lectures to her friends (most often Ted), but those life lectures taught us a thing or two as well. Lily was ultimately the friend everyone went to when they needed advice, someone to talk to, share secrets to, or overall just someone to have their back. She was the kind of friend anyone would be lucky to have. So Let’s take a look at 50 of the best quotes by Lily Aldrin.
Lily: “I decided to go to Minnesota to see Marshall. He shouldn’t have to help his mom through this rough time all by himself.”
Barney: “You losing your mind, being alone in your apartment?”
Lily: “I’m getting weird! [v.o.] See, it started off with me throwing Marshall’s jersey on my body pillow. And, well, things kind of spiraled from there.”
[flashback to Lily sitting down for dinner with a pillow wearing Marshall’s suit:]
Lily: “I’m sorry I yelled like that before.”
[present:]
Lily: “I call him “Marshpillow.” And he calls me… nothing because he’s a pillow.” (6×16 – Desperation Day)
Barney: “So did you get a good look at it?”
Lily: “Yeah. It has six legs, a hard exoskeleton like a roach…”
Marshall: “But it has mouse-like characteristics. Grey-brown tufts of fur, a tail.”
Robin: “So which is it, a cockroach or a mouse?”
Lily: “It’s a cockamouse.” (1×7 – Matchmaker)
Future Ted: [v.o.] “After that, Interventions became a pretty regular thing around our apartment.
[Lily arrives home]
Lily: [in an English accent] “Cor blimey. This is a nice bloody surprise. What’s this about then?”
Ted: “Lily, it’s about the weird fake English accent.”
Lily: “Bollocks.” (4×4 – Intervention)
Lily: “Welcome to my new home.”
Ted: “Oh, wow, Lily, this is… Oh, this is all of it.”
Lily: “Yeah, I know it’s small, but it’s got character. Thank you. And I am learning Lithuanian from my neighbors. They’re great. They’re always out there in the hall, you know, cooking and gambling and giving each other haircuts. It’s nice.”
Ted: “Hey, is that a toilet in your kitchen?”
Robin: “Or a stove in your bathroom?”
Lily: “Oh, that’s not just a stove. That’s a stovinkerator: a combination of a stove, oven and sink and refrigerator. Stovinkerator. Isn’t that futuristic?”
Ted: “God, I hope not.” (2×5 – World’s Greatest Couple)
Ted: “Grinchy, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch.”
[The lights go out]
Lily: “Happy? Now, you’ve pissed off the big guy upstairs.”
Ted: “Yeah, I’m sure God cares if I…”
Man: [o.s.] “You use that language again and I’ll turn off your water!”
Lily: “That’s my super. He lives above me. Great. Thanks to your filthy mouth, now I’m going to have Christmas alone in the dark.” (2×11 – How Lily Stole Christmas)
Lily: “Where’s the poop, Robin?”
Robin: “Excuse me?”
Lily: “When I was a kid, I had a dog named Bean. Whenever he made the face that you’re making right now, you just knew he pooped somewhere in the house. Where’s the poop, Robin?”
Robin: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Lily: “Where’s the poop, Robin?”
Robin: “There’s no poop.”
Lily: “Where’s the poop?” (6×3 – Unfinished)
Robin: “Hey, guys. What’s going on?”
Ted: “Lily stole my boss’ baseball signed three times by Pete Rose.”
Robin: “Why? Was he being mean?”
Ted: “You know about this?”
Robin: “Yeah. It’s her own personal form of justice. Did you tell him about that time at the Gap?”
Lily: “Oh, that was a good one. This sales guy was rude to Robin, so I took a pair of khakis.”
Robin: “I gave them to you for your birthday.”
Ted: “So I’ve been walking around in stolen khakis?”
Lily: “I prefer to call them “justice khakis.” (2×6 – Aldrin Justice)
Lily: “Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God, if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you try to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out and then I’ll feed them to you like grapes.”
Barney: “Wait, my eyes or my testicles?”
Lily: “One of each.” (1×12 – The Wedding)
Robin: “Lily, we are getting sloshed tonight.”
Lily: “That’s all you, baby.”
Marshall: “I’ll be four shots in with no food.”
Lily: “In nine months, I’ll be pushing a pumpkin-headed Eriksen baby out of my hoo-ha. I think Papa can manage
a few extra cocktails.”
Marshall: “Well played.” [downs two shots]
Lily: [pretends to down a shot] “Hakuna Matata!” (7×1 – The Best Man)
Lily: “Why would you move to Chicago?”
Ted: “Because it’s the perfect town for me. It’s like a Clevelandy New York. And don’t act like you haven’t noticed, my hair excels in the wind. Besides, you’re moving to Rome.”
Lily: “Yeah, for a year, and when we get back, we need you to be here waiting for us, hopefully living in this house with your future bride.”
Ted: “Wha… What future bride?”
Lily: “The girl. She’s out there walking around New York City right now, probably in a pair of really cute boots that she’s gonna let me borrow whenever I want because we’re the same size. She is out there, Ted.”
Ted: “Is she, really? Because I’ve looked. I have looked high and low for someone I can love and adore and cook waffles for. The closest I’ve come is Marshall.”
Lily: “He does love your waffles.”
Ted: “It’s the cinnamon. I add cinnamon.” (8×24 – Something New)
Lily: “Ugh. I second Marshall’s vow. I will never ever get that drunk again.”
Future Ted: [v.o.] “Yeah, she would.”
[flash-forward to Wesleyan University in 2030:]
Lily: “My baby boy’s in college. Did you pack enough undies?”
Marvin: “Yes, Mom. Shh.”
Marshall: “Your father did a lot of puking in these hallowed halls, from binge studying. Saved it.”
Lily: “That reminds me, mister, no underage drinking. No good comes from hanging out in bars and getting drunk.”
Marvin: “But every story from your 20’s starts in a bar.”
Marshall: “Listen to your mother.”
Lily: “Aw… What are we gonna do without you in the house?”
[later, at a bar:]
Lily: “We got him out of the house. Drink up. Mm. Whoo! Oh, boy.”
[Marvin walks into the bar]
Marvin: “You son of a bitch.”
Lily: “You son of a me.” (9×18 – Rally)
Conductor: [indistinct talk over muffled P.A.]
Lily: “Track maintenance?”
Conductor: [indistinct talk over muffled P.A.]
Lily: “20-minute delay?”
Man: “How do you do that?”
Lily: “I grew up here, I speak conductor. Damn it!”
[Lily exits the train. The doors then close and the train starts moving.]
Lily: “Damn it!” (6×4 – Subway Wars)
Marshall: “Hey, what about “Rob”?”
Lily: “Rob”? No.”
Marshall: “Why not?”
[flashback to Lily’s kindergarten class:]
Lily: “Hey, Rob. What are you gonna make? A turkey?”
[The boy takes his finger-paint covered hand and…]
Rob: “Honka, honka!”
[Lily has a small, blue hand print on the left breast region of her top]
[present:]
Lily: “Not “Rob.” (6×6 – Baby Talk)
Robin: “Judy, I…”
Lily: “I did it.”
Judy: “What possible excuse could you have for this?”
Lily: “I’m from New York. We think getting minors drunk is funny.”
Judy: “There’s nothing funny about getting minors drunk! You should be ashamed, Lily! Ashamed! [takes a spoonful of salad] Mmm! Oh, cripes, that’s tasty. Mmm! Mmm!”
Lily: [to Robin] “That salad’s the first food she’s eaten in two days. Sure, it’s mostly cheese, mayonnaise and jelly beans, but it counts.” (6×14 – Last Words)
Lily: “Hey, Ted?”
Ted: “Yeah?”
Lily: “You wrote down all these things to say goodbye to, but so many of them are good things. Why not just say goodbye to the bad things? Say goodbye to all the times you felt lost. To all the times it was a “no” instead of a “yes.” To all the scrapes and bruises. To all the heartache. Say goodbye to everything you really want to do for the last time. But don’t go have one last Scotch with Barney. Have the first Scotch toasting Barney’s new life. Because that’s a good thing… And the good things will always be here waiting for you. What?”
Ted: “Turn the page.”
Lily: “Get one last life lecture from Lily.” Well, you’re dreaming if you think that’s the last one of those.” (9×3 – Last Time In New York)
Lily: “Man, Marshall’s really stressing out about this baby. He’s reading every book, watching breast-feeding documentaries. I woke up the other day, he had swaddled me. Sure, it was the best night’s sleep I have had in months, but still…” (7×22 – Good Crazy)
Marshall: “In return for him getting me here, I may have promised Barney that our son’s middle name will be Wait For It.”
Lily: “I can’t wait, just, what is the name?”
Marshall: “The name is Wait For It.”
Lily: [screaming] “That is… the coolest middle name of all time!” (7×23 – The Magician’s Code: Part One)
Marshall: “Lily, it’s a miracle. I didn’t get sick. I didn’t get sick.”
Lily: “I know, baby. I’m pregnant.” (6×24 – Challenge Accepted)
Lily: “Ted, if you murder me, and bury me in New Jersey I’ll haunt you for ever.”
Ted: “But if I murder you and bury you in somewhere else?”
Lily: “Eh. I’ll leave you alone. I’m sure you had your reasons.” (4×3 – I Heart NJ)
Robin: “Hey, what took you guys so long?”
Marshall: “Nothing. Forget about it.”
Lily: “We were on our way here, and Marshall wanted to stop and help some guys load their moving van.”
Marshall: “To be nice. Didn’t cost nothing.”
Lily: “And when the moving van drove away, who should show up but the owner of the apartment we had just helped some guys rob. And that one was hard to explain… to the police.”
Marshall: “Guys, and besides, I like being friendly, okay? I’m not gonna change that about myself.”
Lily: “No, don’t change, baby. I think it’s sweet. Sweet, sweet… [Marshall leaves] Sweet mother of God. He’s an idiot sometimes. He actually lent the burglars gas money.”
Robin: “He gave them money?”
Lily: “Not gave, lent. They said that they would send us a check, so Marshall gave them our address. What’s to stop them from coming to our apartment one night, and maybe tying me up? I mean, sure, Marshall and I like to pretend, but the reality is scary.”
Robin: “Why don’t you say something to him?”
Lily: “Ugh, what’s the point? He’s from Minnesota. His high school mascot was a hug.” (5×23 – The Wedding Bride)
Barney: “Okay, guys, huddle up. Now, Lil, you can do this. All you have to do is look that guy in the eyes, say your name is Marissa Heller, and we are golden. And again, just so we’re clear, no accent.”
Lily: [in a bad Cockney accent] “Are we sure she’s not British, innit?”
All: “No!” (5×22 – Robots Vs. Wrestlers)
Robin: “What happened?”
Lily: “Oh, Ted didn’t get that job. But that’s not the biggest disappointment of the day.”
Robin: “What?”
Lily: “We saw you woo.”
Robin: “Saw who woo?”
Lily: “Saw you woo.”
Robin: “I didn’t woo.”
Lily: “You did, too.”
Robin: “That’s not true.”
Lily: “Your nose just grew.” (4×8 – Woooo!)
Lily: [inner monologue] “No, I’m not looking. I don’t need to see my child used against me. My sweet, beautiful child, who I haven’t seen in a week. Whose head smells like love and unicorn teardrops and why are trains so Ionely? Damn it, I’m looking.”
The Mother: “Hey, are you okay? You look stressed. Plus, you muttered a few words out loud. I heard “Ionely” and “unicorn.” Which actually gave me a great idea for a children’s book, so thank you. Are you okay?”
Lily: “No.”
The Mother: “But there’s nothing you can do… You want a cookie?”
Lily: “Yes. Yes, I do.”
The Mother: “Wow. You just took a cookie from a complete stranger on a train. I like how trusting you are. There could be drugs or poison in there.”
Lily: “There’s not, is there?”
The Mother: “No idea, I found them under my seat. Kidding! Sorry. You looked stressed so I thought you could use a cookie. Then I thought you could use a joke. I should’ve stopped at the cookie.”
Lily: “You know, I don’t care if these are poisoned. There’s chocolate and peanut butter and caramel in these sumbitches!”
The Mother: “I call them “Sumbitches!”
Future Ted: [v.o.] “And that’s how Lily met your mother.” (9×1 The Mother)
Marshall: “And the pizza there. Worst pizza ever! I’m so glad to be back in New York.”
Marshall: “Yeah.”
Lily: “Listen, if there is anything I can do to even begin to make things up to you.”
Marshall: “Actually, there’s maybe something you can do for me. But you can never ever ask me why.”
[cut to MacLaren’s, where Barney is still with the twins:]
Barney: “So then, I was promoted to assistant ménage-er. Manager. Why do I keep doing that? [Lily arrives] Lily?”
Lily: “You gave me chlamydia, you jerk!” [throws a drink at Barney]
Barney: “So, where was I? Ah yes. Assistant ménage-er. I did it again. I can’t believe it!”
[Lily returns wearing a hat]
Lily: “You gave my twin sister chlamydia, you slime!” [throws another drink]
Barney: “Wait, wait, I know magic. Well played, Eriksen. Well played.” (2×2 – The Scorpion and the Toad)
Lily: “Pull your head out of your ass, Mosby. Do you think Marshall always makes me happy? I mean, sometimes being with him is a real trial. Real trial. [smashes glass] Huh. Did it to myself that time. Look, Ted, it’s time to settle. Take this normal-sized chick up to the lighthouse and fall in love with her and quit bothering us with your dumb love life stuff. God, I am so sick of being smarter than everyone else. You’re slipping, Linus.”
Linus: “We’re running out of glasses.” (9×8 – The Lighthouse)
Thank you for visiting my blog and taking the time to read today’s post, I hope you all have a good week, and manage to stay warm and dry if what the weather forecast predicts comes true and storm Agnes hits. For now though I shall say see you next time!
Peytons View 